Jamie4U was created by man. He evolved. He rebelled. And he has a (tan) plan
I have literally been stopping traffick with my outrageous fake tan! On local tv last night the last item was about how a bus driver saw me walking down the street and ran over a granny cos he was so surprised at how cool I looked. Even the police have been round to see me about it, and I've been told that I'm "causing a distraction" and have to wash off my tan!!!
It is typical that I try and raise the tone of this crap little town and this is the thanx I am payed. It is like living in Iranistan or something living here. I am like totally being made a victim because I love fashion. I'm like a Fashion Victim or something.
Anyway, I'm not going to change. I am going to spread the word of Tan whereever I go. Me and Debbie and Miss Thang have formed our own politikal group. We are called the Orange Panthers and this is our mission:
I have got some of my fake tan from Russia in a spray. This morning I went round Kwicsave and Iceland with it and sprayed all the pensioners with it when they weren't looking. None of them thanked me - they're like so ungrateful even though I am like spending MY OWN MONEY on them in the sake of fashion. One of them turned her head too quick and I got her right in the eyes with the tan. She was like "Oh Oh I'm being mugged. I can't see!!" So I decided to get the hell right out of there. I even lost my spray tan can in the exsitement. Damn!! But as Miss Thang said later "Jamie, we all must suffer for our politics. If we can just make one pensioner orange then we will have got our message out there."
Anyway, all this is a secret obviously, so don't tell anyone. Oh and get some fake tan on now you bitches!!
Labels: fake tan