Monday, January 01, 2007

This is MY year! It's all about ME from now on!

I have been living with Keith for the last few days. Everyone was like dead simpathetic when they heard how I had been living in an ABUSIVE relationship with Brian for like a year. I haven't been able to talk about it because I was so frightened of him. But now it's finally over I can talk about it all and I think that is why I have like BULLYIMIA and ANORACKIA. Because I was never good-looking enough for him. It is like so hard to be like 18 and have these pressures on you to be hot and thin and sexy all the time. Anyway, it is a New Year and a New Jamie4U. In fact, I am no longer Jamie4U, I am Jamie4me! Cos for once, I am going to put me first! And that means going after what *I* want for a change, rather than trying to please everyone else.

Anyway, for my New Years resolution, I have resolved to get a better body so more people will fancy me, so me and Keith and Debbie all joined our local gym. Well, Keith and Debbie had to pay for my membership cos I am a bit short of cash right now. But whatever, it's only money as I say. We had this like induction thing. It was right boring. How am I supposed to remember how to use all these different machines. I soon got bored. It was OK for Debbie and Keith, they are lucky enough to have Ipods to listen to. I don't have ANYTHING like that! It's so hard to be me sometimes.

So after 5 minutes I went off to the men's sauna. You're like supposed to wear shorts, but I took mine off and sat there with my tuppence hanging out, smiling and saying "hi" to all the cute guyz who came in and hissing "fuck off oldie!" at any mingaz. Anyway, these 10 lads who had been playing football all came in at once. It was a bit of a squash and I had to sit really close between them all. Well I wasnt complaining cos they were so fit! I tried to talk to them about the latest Christine Agileria album, but they didn't seem that interested in what I had to say for some reason, and kept ignoring me and saying "watch your arses lads!" and all this homophobic shit. Just cos my hand slipped once or twice and I ended up accidentally touching their cocks. God I hate ignorance!

Anyway, they all left, apart from one of them called Gav who had been a bit quiet. And when we were alone he said "I'm not gay or anything but you can suck me off." So I did. Afterwards we exchanged phone numbers and he said "If you tell anyone about this you little queer I will fucking kill you. Got that?"

I am officially a footballers wife! I have a great new fit boyfriend called Gav! I can tell 2007 is going to be a great year for me!


At 4:26 AM, Blogger Old Cheeser said...

You sad, deluded creature, Jamie. I'm afraid your name is NOT Tanya Turner.

At 8:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You lucky little tart! I always wanted to be a footballer's wife too!

At 8:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

you can claim that brian was abusive, but have you ever heard of emotional abuse. It is apparent all over all of your postings that you don't seem to care at all about his feelings. it is hard to feel sorry for you. you have probably left scars all over him, and he probably dumped you. do you really thinkk anyone feels sorry for you?


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