Thursday, December 07, 2006

Just like M people we are Moving on up, moving on out!

Brian's lottery cheque has finally arrived, so he put it in his bank account. This morning he was out looking at this posh show home on the Barrat estate. I was in the flat, watching porn on our new 62 inch plasma screen tv (fab or what). Anyhow, there was a knock at the door and Miss Thang and her new boyfriend Ahmed were standing there. Miss Thang was all kisses and smiles for once (nothing like her usual self). "Oh Jamie luv, how have ya been?" and "What a lovely television, how tasteful!" and all this stuff. They'd been on holiday so didn't know anything about Brian's lottery win.

Anyway, when I told them Miss Thang was like "How wonderful Jamie. But do you know what? We can take that £200,000 and turn it into 2 million pound!" I was like "how?" and Miss Thang said "My Ahmed is a poker champion. Have you heard of Pakistan? Well, Ahmed OWNS most of Pakistan. He won it in a poker game. All you have to do is give us Brian's credit card details and we can go online and play internet poker and in ten minutes, we'll have tripled your winnings. All Ahmed wants is like 25% of what we win."

So I was like "Wow! With that much money we could live in a CASTLE like Posh Spice and Becks." So I got Brian's credit card (which he keeps hidden in the bread bin) and gave it to them. Miss Thang got online and they started playing this online poker.

But it didn't seem to be going very well. It was all very complicated and I didn't get most of it and they wouldn't tell me what was happening. But then Brian came back and was like "what's this pair doing here Jamie?" Miss Thang said "Ooops, time to go now Ahmed!" And so they got up and practically ran out. Brian looked at te computer and was like "I can't believe it! They gambled away half of our money. We only have £100,000 left now."

So it looks like we won't be getting a five bedroom new Barrat Home after all now, but instead Brian has paid the remaining money on a two bedroom flat. Actually, I quite like it. It's above a Greggs the Bakers, so you can smell cheese pasties all the time - my favourite smell.

Brian has been very quiet lately. He just sits in the sitting room, staring into space a lot and not saying anything. I can't be bothered with that sort of behaviour, so I'm spending a lot of time at Climax 2000.


At 8:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're an idiot!


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