Sunday, December 10, 2006

And then there was Jamie

I am writing from an internet cafe in Blackpool! Yes, Brian has used the leftover lottery money to take me on holiday! Miss Thang, Debbie and Keith have come along as well. We are all staying in "The Meathole", which is a fab gay hotel. We always stay in gay hotels and go to gay cafes and use a gay taxi service and have a gay plumber and do gay everything. Anyway, the Meathole is fab. None of the bedrooms have doors or lights and you can phone down for drugs or a free blowjob. Miss Thang was like "See you twats later, I'm off downstairs to sit in the sauna, let me know in 2 days time when it's time to go."

So anyway, the rest of us went round the amusement arcades and had chips. It was fab. We went on a tram and Debbie needed a piss so she did it on the back seat - what a laugh! Brian was all "there's a lovely art decko hotel that I want to take some photos of for my website, Jamie will you come with me and steady my tripod" but I was like "fuck off, this is MY holiday, for ME! I don't want to do your boring shit!" so he went off on his own.

Anyway, then Debbie got arrested for shoplifting in one of the 50p shops, so then it was just me and Keith. I was like, "let's go cruising on Middle Parade" which is where all the hot guyz go. So we went down there. But it was just old mingaz. They all knew they didn;t stand a chance with me cos I am so beautiful, but Keith'll go with anyone who shows her a bit of attention, so soon he was the belle of the ball. I was like "I'm going to throw up!" so I went back to the hotel Meathole.

Anyway, a few hours later, the manager came to my bedroom. I was like "what?" and he said "I'm going to have to ask you to pack up and leave. We've had complaints about you from the other residents. You should be ashamed of yourself!"

So I had to go and sleep in someone's shed instead. How crap was that! I have an awful sore throat this morning too. I'll be glad to go home. I hate Blackpool.


At 2:36 PM, Anonymous manchester_girl said...

That is like SO tragic! Oh my god whatever bitch complained was like so bang out of order- scab!!! Jealous and you know it.


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