Wednesday, November 29, 2006

I'm going to Spend, Spend, Spend!

Well! What a mad few days!!

We got back to our flat after our celebration at Pizzaland and somehow news had got round the towerblock that Brian had won £200,000 on the lottery. It was like Zombie Dawn of the Dead or summat as all these people in track suits with cold sores crawled out of their sad little flats and chased us up the stairs shouting "Brian love! Can I talk to you about something?" and "Brian can you borrow us a grand mate?" People were like pulling at our clothes and stuff. We got into the flat and locked the door, but they started banging on the door and saying "let us in!". It were dead scary. In the end, Brian had to phone the police and they sprayed a water hose over everyone and we were escorted out under a blanket for safety.

So we are now staying at a Holiday Inn hotel in secret. It is like dead glam. I have never been in one before. It has like its own kettle and everything!

Brian wants to spend like most of the money on this 5 bedroom Barrat Home on this new estate. "It's a good investment! House prices are still going up..." he said. God he is so boring. I stopped listening. Anyway, I let him have sex with me last night, for the first time in months. He got so carried away that he was promising to buy me allsorts. Like a car, and a pair of DKNY diamond-studded low-slung jeans with the word "MAN-SLAG" spelt out on the bum in gems.

We went to the Arndale Centre today and I went totally mad. It was like probably the best day of my life (apart from the fact that Brian was with me the whole time - bleerrgh!) I spent like £4000!!! Can you beleeve it. Brian just followed me round like a little dog and carried my bags and stuff, and I was like "I'll have 3 of those and 10 of those!" It was fab and all the shop assistants were crawling round us (I even got a quick 3-some in the changing rooms of Envy with these 2 dead camp shop assistants while Brian was waiting outside).

Brian hasn't got the money yet, but it should come next week. All I can say is, it's ace been rich! I'm so happy and I know I will be happy now for the rest of my life!


At 8:22 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jamie - perhaps you should ask Brian if he won the Nigerian lottery and that is why the money is taking so long to arrive?



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