Friday, October 13, 2006

Tower block HELL

Well, I am back living with Brian again. I don't really want to talk about what happened with Frankie. But needless to say, our holiday to Jamicia did not go exactly as planned. On the last night, we had some wild sex (as usual) and he said he wanted to "test my limits as a power-bottom" or something like that. So as normal, I just lay on my stomach and bit the pillow. I had no idea what he was putting up me. And you can imagine how pissed off I was when I got stopped and searched at the airport and they found 30 condoms stuffed with heroin in my colon. I was thrown in prison for like 3 weeks. Can you beleeve it?

Anyway, to cut a long story short, I am back in Brtiain again, thanks to Brian who flew out here and sold his house to pay for the best lawyers and stuff. When we got back into Britain, all my freinds were waiting at the airport to greet us: Miss Thang, Keith, Debbie and Barbara. Miss Thang had made a big sign that said "WELCOME HOME JAMIE THE DRUG MULE!"

The first thing I did was have a KFC cos God, I have missed British food like so much. You wouldnt' believe it. I still have a load of court cases and stuff, and as the condition of my bail I have to live with Brian (Whatever!) Needless to say, he is like on CLOUD FUCKING NINE, and running around everywhere like the cat what's got the creme (me!)

I am a bit pissed off, cos as I said, Brian had to sell his flat and we are now living on the 39th floor of this horrible tower-block rented accomodation crappy thing. It's awful and everywhere smells of cat piss and the neighbours are dead rough (and not sexy-rough either). The lifts are all broken, the only good thing about that is all the stairs climbing will give me a nice bubble-butt. I've told Brian it's just not good enough though, so he is working extra hours at Comet in order so we can save up some money and get us a nice new Barratt home or something on one of those posh new estates.

I'll write more later when I can be like bothered. I have so much catching up to do on the soaps!


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