Thursday, August 10, 2006

Why does it hurt to wee?

For some reason I've not been feeling well lately. Everytime I have a wee it stings, and there's this thick yellow stuff that keeps leaking out of my willy and leeving staines on my knickers. Ive tried just ignoreing it and hopeing it will go away on it's own, but its just gettig worse. I told Miss Thang about it and she was like "You've got the CLAP!" and she clapped her hands and screamed with laughter in my face. I probably shouldn't have told her while we was in our local gay club Climax 2000, because she make a beeline for the stage, grabbed the microphone and shouted "Jamie's got the siff and gonorrehahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa!"
She's such a beetch! I hate her sometimes.

Everyone was like laughing at me and stuff. I felt so crap, so I pulled over a table, spilling everyone's drinks onto them and flounced out. (Well, actually I was barred for a week for causing a disturbance).

Keith ran after me and he was like "Jamie oh my god I'm so worried about you, you have to go to the sexual health clinic and get sorted out." And I was like "Furget it bitch! I'm not going down there, they put a syringe up your cock and stuff!" But I was in so much pain that I was crying. And as you all know, Keith is like IN LOVE with me (who isn't?) So he had an idea. He was like "How about I go to the clinic for you and get the medicine and you can have it."

So I was like "Yeah thicko, but you don't have no simptons so they won't give you any medicine." And Keith then said "I know a way I can get some simptoms." And he gave me this look and was all smiling and shit.

So anyways, to cut a long story short, Keith was having the burns when he weed in a few days. And he went to the clinic and they gave him the medicine - he asked for two doses as he said the other was for his boyfreind (in his fucking DREAMZ!!!)

So I'm cured again. Hurrah. Actually, I only took half the antibiotics cos it seemed to clear up after a few days. And I couldn't be bothered to keep taking the tablets for the full week. Whats the point?

To celebrate my newfound disease-free status, I'm off cottaging tonight. I'm hoping to break my personal best of 23 in one night. If you're interested I'll be hanging round the loos by the Hippodrome between 7 and 10. But only come if you're like 18 and fit. Ha.


At 7:08 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Miss Thang must be one fierce supadiva bitch to grow back her own hand! Maybe she's secretly like one of those lizards in that miniseries 'V'... You better watch out Jamie or she'll eat your pet gerbil!


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