Thursday, August 24, 2006

Starbucks-crossed lovers

So, I decided to do some detective work and got my spy network to find out about the new person at Climax 2000 last nite. Debbie who knows EVEFRYONE found out who he was. Though I had to buy her like 3 kitkats before she would tell me. Then she’s like, “come with me.” So I get up and we go down the town centre and Debbie stops outside this dead stuck-up coffee shop place called Starbucks. We never go in it cos it is like so expensive – I’m sorry but I’ll never pay more than a pound for a drink. And its always full of these anscient women (like 30 or somethning) with crap died hair and stupid handbags going “Can I have a skinny latty café mochamachino.” Whatever! As everyone knows I only ever drink fanta unless I’m clubbing. So I’m like “I’m not going in there!” But Debbie pushes me in (she’s very strong). And then I look behind the counter and there’s the hot guy, and he’s wearing this tight black shirt which shows off his massive pecs and big thick arms and he is making coffee or something. And on his shirt is a name tag that says “Johnson”. And I’m like “That’s a SURNAME. It’s not a proper first name. Who IS this person?” Anyway, we have to queue for like fifteen minutes to get a drink, cos this Johnson takes ages to make the drinks – the milk has to be made frothy with this machine and its so fucking complicated. And all the stupid women in front of us cant decide what they want so they take ages making their mind up and its all “Shall I kiss my diet goodbye and have extra whipped cream Sandra?” I just wanted to scream “Oh my god, hurry the fuck up. It’s only a fucking cup of coffee!” Anyway, we get to the front of the queue, FINALLY! And this Johnson recognises us from the other nite. And he’s like “Oh hi, how are you?” like he’s like my best friend or something? And I was going to be all bad attitude and shit, but he was all nice to me and said my danceing was really good and asked all these questions about my routine and stuff. I hate it when people you don’t like are nice to you. So we just ended up haveing some fresh squeezed orange juice which was awful. It was so bitter – it tasted like battrey acid. I don’t know why they don’t just serve Kiora. That’s nice. And cheap.

Anyway Debbie’s like “he fancies you. That Johnson fancies you. Don’t you think so? He’s so goodlooking. I would die if someone like that fancied me.” And I looked across and he was smileing at me. “If you 2 were a couple, imagine that!” said Debbie. “You would be like the best-looking couple ever and everyone would be so jealous! And he must be on a good wage if he works here. With these prices!”

So we decided that I am going to have Johnson as my boyfriend. And we are going to be a power couple,like Posh and Becks. Johnson doesn’t know it yet, but we are destined to be in love and rule everyone. And my horoscope did say this morning “Possibly a romance might happen” So its like written in the stars or something.


At 1:20 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What about Brian? Isn't he supposed to be your boyfriend? If you're dumping him, can I have him? I have a few Star Trek Voyager tapes missing from my collection and I'm sure he could help to fill them.


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