Thursday, August 17, 2006

Sex with a Hungry Hippo

There has been a problem with my comments for ages. How was I supposed to know I had to click "accept" or "reject" before they got shown? God. Computers are such hard work at times. Anyway, Keith's shown me how to do it and now you can post all the comments you like and they'll show up str8 away. I don't care what you say - abuse or love. I can take it all. I am a "power bottom" after all.

Thanx for all your private emails about my peom. There are too many to reply to but I have being inspired to share with you all some of my other writing. This is an erotick story I wrote for Debbie on her birthday. It's about me haveing sex with Robbie Wiliams (its not true obviously - just like a fantasy, though if youre reading this Robbie, email me and we can make it happen lol lol lol).

Robbie's like inside me

So anyways, me and my freinds Debbie, Keith and Miss Thang and Brian and Barabara were all at a Robbie concert at Wimbeldon and we had like really good seats, right at the front and stuff. And all the way thru it Robbie was stareing and me and singing at ME, especially like the love songs like "angels". And my freinds were all going "Robbie LOVES you Jamie!" but I was like playing it cool and shit.

So after it finishes, I decide to hang around to see what happens. And anyway, Robbie comes out and he walks up to me and he's all "Hey, do you wanna come backstage with me, I'm bored by myself and someone gave me this game of Hungry Hippos so maybe you wanna come and play it with me." And I'm "well, OK, but only for 10 minutes cos my bus is coming."

So we're in his dressing room and its massive and full of flowers and whatever. And we're playing Hungry Hippos, and chattin like we've known each other all our lives and guess what, we have like the same stuff in common. Like he's a big Christine Aglierea fan too and both our favorite colours are pink!!!! Then Robbie's like "let's make this interesting, whoever wins the game of Hungry Hippos has to take off an item of clothing". So we play, like 2 games and I lose them both and as I'm only wearing a thong and a "BOTTOM SLUT" visor anyway, I'm like totally naked.

And Robbie can't take his eyes off me. So I'm all like "I can't kiss cos I have an abcess, but you can fuck me if you like". So he takes off all his clothes and climbs on top of me. And I say "You could do with losing a bit of weight Robbie, like really - your tummy flab isn't very nice." And Robbie's "all, I'm sorry Jamie. I know I'm not worthy to have sex with you, I promise I'll become bulimic so next time you find me attractive."

Anyway, then we have sex and despite the fact I don't normally have sex with people with a 34 inch waist, it's fab, fab, fab. We, like, do it all over the room - I'm hangingoff the curtains and stuff. And Robbie cries when its finished. "I love you Jamie, please come and live with me!" But I'm "No, I told you Robbie. I have to get my bus!" And Robbie falls on the ground naked and is all "Oh god, I cant like, live without u!" And I'm "You disgust me. Lose 2 stone and we'll talk." And I walk out. And as I'm leaving I hear a gunshot, but I don't look back cos it was just sex for me and I cant' help it if guys kill themsleves after they've been with me.


I bet you're all hot and horny now eh? Needless to say, Debbie said my story was the best present she ever had, and she had to go off into the bathroom with it for like 3 hours (she's not a fast reader).


At 5:02 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have the same dreams about Robbie, Jamie. I haven't told anyone, apart from my wife. You give me the strength and inspiration to go cottaging.
Love from
Patsarella Dubbalatte

At 6:46 AM, Blogger Tom SF said...

So we play, like 2 games and I lose them both and as I'm only wearing a thong and a "BOTTOM SLUT" visor anyway, I'm like totally naked.



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