Medium atomic weights are available: Jamie4U and Miss Thang have been assigned
Aak! What a fucking shit week. Everyone at my fab local gay nighclub Climax were in shock about how Barabara lied to us all about her lottery win. Anyways no bitch gets away with messing with Jamie4U right. So Miss Thang had this great idea to fuck her up. Me and Debbie and Miss Thang went to visit Barabara in her secure unit and when the nurses weren't looking we pretended it was 1976 and that we were "Time Police Aliens" in order to mess with her head. Miss Thang was like "Hey Barabara, guess what love? All irregularities will be handled by the forces controlling each dimension. Transuranic heavy elements may not be used where there is life." Barbara got really fucked up and freaked out so we have probably set her recovery back like 2 years or something. Stupid lieing cow.
So afterwards I had to go back to Asda and pleed for my old job back. I said I had had a bad reaction to my anty-biotics which made me act "out of character". But Mrs Herrington was like "No way. Youre lazy and steal things and a slut basically - is there any married man what works here that you havent sucked off in the staff toilets Jamie?" So I had to agree she had a point.
Anyway, been unemployed is fab! I get to stay in bed until like 1 in the afternoon, then I get up, have a packet of ciggies and watch the daytime soaps and stuff. Then I go round the shops and do a bit of light cruising, then go to McDonalds for tea with Debbie and Keith, then go to Climax for dancing and drugs and shit, then wind up back home at about 3:30. This is the life!