Saturday, December 10, 2005

I'm a working girl again!

Can you believe it? I get out of prison and find that my boyfriend Brian has taken up with this 8 year old Chinese bitch! And he can't decide who he really wants now so he's put me up in a travel-lodge. Like whatever! There isn't even a minibar. What sort of place is this? Acutally, it's full of closet-case business men so all I have to do is hang around the corridors at night and I usually make a few new best freinds for the night. I learned a few tricks in prison!

Anyway, I soon got bored of that and decided to catch up with my old fat fag hag freind Debbie. We had a great meal at KFC but then all my money ran out, so I was a bit miserable. Debbie was like "Why don't you come back to Asda and work with me again." And I said "But I can't cos I cheeked the manager and told her to fuck off and stuff!"

Debbie said "Oh, she was caught fiddling the tills and got sacked so I'm like the stand-in manager until they find someone else!" And I was like, oh great, I'm so pleased for you. Except I wasn't really cos I hate it when my freinds do well. Is that bad of me? Anyway, Debbie said "You'll have to have an interview and everything!" So I had my interview in KFC. And it was fantastic. Debbie was all like "What would you do if a customer wants to return a piece of ham cos it's gone off?" And I said "Slap her round the face with it and tell her to fuck off!" And at the end Debbie said "Well Jamie, I am happy to tell you that you have passed the interview and can start tomorrow. But there's one more thing - you have to show us your cock!" (She's such a pervert! I guess she doesnt get to see very many what with being morbidly obese and everything). So I got it out - right in the middle of KFC. There were all these closeted men straining over the heads of their wives to see, so I said "Take a picture, it costs less!"

So at least I have a job again. Which means I can just smoke fags in the toilets, have my tarot cards read and bitch about all the losers who work at Asda. We don't really do any work.


At 6:49 PM, Blogger William John said...

Congratulations, Jamie! I kneeeew that Asda was pining for you! Who isn't?!

William John.

At 9:17 PM, Blogger craggles said...

AS an ardent Vickii [YESBUT NOBUT] POLLARD FAN....I say goggirl...singing to Winterwonderland as you slut about..


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