Sunday, June 05, 2005

Stains on the Sunbed

Ugh. Brian woke me up yesterday (at 10 in the morning - like how early is that!) and he was all like "Jamie, there's a telephone bill here for £3283.28! What have you been doing!" Whatever! Like, it's not my fault that I get bored stuck in the house all day and end up talking on premium rate gay muscle chatlines where the call terminates in Brazil.

Anyway, Brian was like dead pissed off: "I will have to auction all my Captain KAthryn Janeway memorabilia stuff on ebay just so we can buy food!", and demanded that I get a job to help out. Tuh. So that's the end of me being a Desprate Housewife. Shame I didn't get to shag any hunky gardners (still that one off the telly was a bit fat and old for my tastes).

So I was wandering the streets cottaging looking for a job and then I bumped into Miss Thang who was going through the bins in the bus station (she has no shame), and she was like "Oh Jamie love, why not come and work with me and Tanya's Tan Cabin in the precinct". She has this day job when she's not been a foul-mouthed drag queen entertainer where she works in a tanning shop. So I was all like "OK, Whatever, as long as I get to use the sunbeds for free, when do I start?"

It's actually not all that bad. I get to sit and drink pots of tea all day with Miss Thang and gossip with all the middle-aged women who come in to top up their tans. And theres always loads of fit str8 lads from the gym next door coming in to use the tan beds and I get to flirt with them all (and also, they dont know it but I can spy on them when they're on the sunbeds - cos they don't realise I have keys to all the rooms. Half of them have a wank while they're on the sunbeds and dont know anyone's watching - and that's just the start of it - dirty bitches!) So it's not so bad being a working girl for a change. Seeya bitches!


At 12:18 PM, Blogger Shampaynes Plaice said...

Hi Jamie

Shampayne here. I was wondering if you could take some pix of those strate boys on the sunbeds with your mobile and send them to me. I love home made pawno!

Laters x

PS Can you send them to Jays mobile as mine dont acept multymedia stuff. Derek nicked me the wrong one, silly twat.

At 6:35 AM, Blogger gdayscott said...


have you created a gaydar profile under a different name? I bet this is you:


i think you look sexy!



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