Saturday, May 14, 2005

The Rain in Spain falls mainly on Jamie4U

What a week! On Tuesday Barbara went to the estate agents to buy a villa in Spain and she was like "I want you to come out to spain and live with me Jamie." Can you beleeve it? Me in Spain? So I thought about it for like 3 seconds and said "OK".

So anyway, I went to Asda and went right up to Mrs Herrington my line manager and was like "fuck your job you four-eyed fat cow, I'm going to Spain". And I knocked over a big display of mushy peas on the way out. Everyone was like really shocked but I didnt care.

When I got home I told Brian I was going to Spain and he fell on the floor going "NooOOooOOoooOOO! But Jamie I love you" and shit. But you have to be cruel to be kind dont you.

Anyways, Barbara foned me and she said to meet her at the airport on Thursday with my passport and all my stuff cos she'd bought her villa and it was time to go. She's bought my plane ticket and everything. Can you beleeve it?

I got to the airport and was waiting round for Barbara and she didnt show up, so I started thinking that maybe Id got the time wrong or summat or maybe she had had another drink-driving accident on the way to the airport. I waited for like 5 hours and was starting to get worried because that's how long it took me to read Heat magazine and then I had nothing else to do.

It was getting late and the airport was empty and I heard these footsteps coming towards me from behind. I looked round and it was Brian. And he was like "Oh Jamie. I've been doing some investigating for you and I'm afraid it was all a lie. Barbara never won the lottery. She just made it all up for attention. When she tried to buy that villa, the mortgage people found out she had no funds in her bank account and confronted her. She tried to attack them and is now been held in a secure unit for her own safety."

I am totally devasted! Who would of thought it? If only I could of seen the signs. I suppose now I'm stuck with Brian and will have to try and ask if I can have my job back. Bastard!


At 5:53 PM, Blogger PoetX said...

Asda will never take you back now, you do know that don't you Jamie.

I heard Aldi or Netto are looking for new staff !!

I never trusted that Barbara from the start. I should have warned you.

At 11:36 AM, Blogger Shampaynes Plaice said...

Hi Jamie

Its Shampayne here. I thought Id better say hello as Jay says that your websight is really funny and all that shit.

Sorry to here about barbra and her big fat fibs. You must be devestated. Still if you live near milton kenes theres a job going at Blocbusters now that Shelly has been promoted to deputy manageress.

Call Shel on 07774 598750 for further details.

Laters x

At 5:58 AM, Blogger Mrs Craven said...

Whatever! I'm goin4that blockbuster job, so fucku Shampayne and Jamie4u. Jus wanna let u guys no that i'm gonna be the fuckin queen of blockbuster, so don't get too comfy in your jobs, cos i'll get u sacked. Also - nice photos you loserz! Not!

Big Luv from Your enemy, Kirsten xx >:)

At 8:23 PM, Blogger Rob7534 said...

well, don't keep us guessing Jaimie. What are you doing now? Update!!

At 4:05 AM, Blogger PoetX said...

Is Jamie stuck at the airport now a la Tom Hanks in The Terminal and having to live off half eaten Burger Kings casually tossed into trash cans by passerbys and making friends with the cleaners? I bet a lot of trade goes through the toilets at the airport. You know horny American tourists after a bit English trade !!!

At 4:51 PM, Blogger stevie.be. said...

that is seriously too funny. thanks God you only knocked over the pea's.


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