Monday, May 02, 2005

Queen of the Cottage

That bloody Harris has gone and got the police involved in our "lovers tiff" so now I'm not allowed with a half mile raydius of him. Bitch! Still, its only a matter of time before he comes running back.

So last night at the fabulous local gay club Climax, me and my possy were all talking about our lives and shit. Barbara said "I could of told you Harris was bad news - he's a Saggitarius - they're Trouble!" And Brian spat out his cocktail at that and was like "Oh Barabara what are you like! The spirit world doesn't exist. Too much Evette Fielding and Derek Fakora on Living TVs's Most Haunted methinks" (yes, he actually said "methinks" SOmeone remind me why am I with him!)

So Barbara got all upset cos she believes in astrology and spirits and ghosts and all that shit. "There HAS to be SOMETHING MORE THAN THIS SHIT!" she started screaming. It all got a bit frantic, so Brian said "OK, prove it. If youre sycick then what's the next winning lottery numbers going to be?" Barbara then went into a kind of trance and fell to the floor chanting stuff we couldn't understand.

Miss Thang (my sassy 6ft 6 drag queen freind) stood up then - and she was like "Well darlings, I'm so bored of you all I just did a shit in my knickers. See ya, don't wanna be ya!" And then she pulled off Brian's toupee and threw it across the room screaming "Here kitty kitty kitty! Oh, your cats ran off Brian!" So we all got barred again for causing a disturbance.

I decided to go cottaging on the way home (to get rid of all this sexual frushtration I've been having this week). It was a bit crowded when I got there - but I could see the three Cockitt brothers who work in the butchers (theyre dead fit and butch) crammed into a toilet cubicle together in a circle with their pants round their ankles. I tried to go in but they slammed the door and locked it behind them - bitches!

After about an hour they all came out one by one, looking shagged out, ripped clothes and everything. I went into their cubicle to have a look afterwards - what a mess! All I can say is you could hang wall-paper up in there easily. But worst of all - sitting on the loo in the middle of it all and grinning like a fucking Cheshire cat was that fucking HARRIS! This is now total war!!!!


At 11:35 AM, Blogger PoetX said...

Oh Jamie you don't seem to be having much luck do you? Did you consider scraping the cum off the walls in a vain effort to use Harris DNA to clone a Harris for your personal sex slave?

At 4:14 AM, Anonymous Marcia said...

OMG that sounds really horny.


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