Jamie4U

Friday, April 29, 2005

Who the fuck is Foucault anyways?

So anyway, I went over to Harris'es student room to give him his massage (and more besides!) He was a bit late coming back - so I sat outside for 2 hours and eventually he arrived. I think he'd been smoking something cos he was a bit vague. Anyway, he said he'd been rehearsing with his band (they're called 'Eating Out Barbie' or something). So he let me in and I pretended to be interested so he put one of his demo cds on and it was like just noise! I tried to help by suggesting that perhaps he does a cover of Kylie's "Cant get you out of my mind" but some people can't take critisism!

Anyway, it was going a bit badly so I tried another tack. I noticed this book (urrrggh!) on his bed so I picked it up and was like "Oh, I've got this it's great isn't it." And he said "Really? You've got a copy of "Foucault's 'Discipline and Punish?' How interesting. WHat was the best bit Jamie?" So I pretended to think and said "Oh, the bit with the man in it. All of it really. Although I didnt like the end, I don't like sad endings." And then he laughed and said "Jamie your really hilarious." So I got out my peppermint foot lotion and was like "Massage Time! Take all your clothes off."

Anyway, he gave me this look and took his shirt off and god!!!!! Come to momma bitch! Then he was like "Do you think I have a good body? Cos I read this magazine article and it says that gay men have higher standards than women so if you can get a gay man to fancy you then it means you really are hot shit."

So I was just putting the peppermint stuff on my hands and he was like "Be gentle with me" and then! Bitch! That blonde piece - his girlfriend Laura-slut-whatever came in and she was all like "What's going on here." So I was like "Chill bitch. Get over it! I won him fair and square." Then she got totally histerical and slapped me. Me! And Harris was like "I think youd better leave Jamie."

Gross or what? Round 1 to LAura-slut-bitch. But the battle ain't over.

12 Comments:

At 5:42 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

do ya think it works the other way? i'm trying to use my feminine wiles to turn a gay man that i fancy to all things vaginal... but it isn't working... what do u think i should do jamie as your tactics seem to be working marvellously!

 
At 8:46 AM, Blogger Rob7534 said...

JAMIE!!

You mean you DIDN'T lock the frikken DOOR!! OH MY GOD.

 
At 8:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

lyk OMG the beeatch didnt even ask to join in... not lyk ud let her tho!

 
At 5:18 PM, Blogger Deano said...

I thought I ordered you to die.

 
At 5:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, what a total cunt is that Laura! Now what you've got to do is like imply, pretend to that slag that you did more with Harris than you really did!! She'll be so pissed, she'll dump him and then guess who'll be there to console the poor guy?! YOU!

Tyler

 
At 1:19 AM, Blogger William John said...

Thisshhh meeeans waaar...!

Damn, you'll win Jamie. How could you not?! Harris is such a total closet case. He should be good for a week or two if you can kick that little runt off your ankles...

William John.

 
At 6:35 AM, Blogger gdayscott said...

oh babe. never mind. what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. what doesn't kill her will at least put her in hospital for a few months ;-)
x

 
At 2:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jamie-
Obviously Discipline and Punish is some kind of bondage fetish porn. He's probably into that: you should try it!

 
At 11:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It'll be hilarious when Harris sees you for the vile, arrogant, sociopathic, syphilitic walking advert for abortion you really are.

 
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At 7:41 PM, Blogger Hoodia said...

Help me Dude, I think I'm lost..... I was searching for Elvis and somehow ended up in your blog, but you know I'm sure I saw him in a car lot yesterday, which is really strange because the last time I saw him was in the supermarket. No honest really, he was right there in front of me, next to the steaks singing "Love me Tender". He said to me (his lip was only slightly curled) "Boy, you need to get yourself a San Diego cosmetic surgery doctor ,to fit into those blue suede shoes of yours. But Elvis said in the Ghetto nobody can afford a San Diego plastic surgery doctor. Dude I'm All Shook Up said Elvis. I think I'll have me another cheeseburger. Then I'm gonna go round and see Michael Jackson and we're gonna watch a waaaay cool make-over show featuring some Tijuana dentists on the TV in the back of my Hummer. And then he just walked out of the supermarket singing. . . "You give me love and consolation,
You give me strength to carry on " Strange day or what? :-)

 

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