Thursday, April 21, 2005

Jamie International!

What a MAD couple of days! I've been out of my head on drugs for the past 48 hours so can only remember like the highlights of Amsterdam. SPent all night dancing at this fab gay club which had a dark room. I've never been in one of those before - but it was fabulous and I must have had about 30 guys (bit of a quiet night for me that!) Didn't get back to the hotel until 7 in the morning and Brian was a bit pissed off. "I came here to sample the culture" he was all sniffy. "I want to go to Anne Franks house." So I was like "Who the fucks ANne Frank when she's at home." Luckily Miss Thang explained: "SHe was this French pop star in the 1930s. She made the first ever pop video. She was the Kylie of her time."

So we ended up going to this ANne Franks house, but it was so boring. Just a house. Youd have thunk they'd have had some of her pop videos and stuff. SO I asked one of the people who worked there, "Can I listen to some of her hits?" but they just looked at me like in shock- well it's not my fault I dont speak French!!!

Afterwards we all had some more drugs and then went to the red light district. Miss Thang got into a fight with some prostitutes cos she was stealing their trade. So we escaped into a sex show. It was dead funny - this woman came and rubbed her minge in Brian's face. He just had to sit there and let her cos it was rude not to. Then these two really hot gay twins came out and stripped and they picked me to go up on stage with them and basically, you can imagine what happened, I had a great time and Brian's eyes were out on stalks. Afterwards, I was just cleaning my face off and Debbie said "I want you to be my baby's god-father. You're so cool!" So I was like "Yeah, whatever bitch!" Just so long as I dont have to buy him stuff. But I'm secretly pleased and have decided that I will try to help her baby to be as cool as me (and not as fat, as let's face it, his Mother is Debbie so he's bound to be a bit of a porker!)


At 1:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

YOU as a god-parent *splutters out coffee* That poor kid - I guess we'll be seeing it on the front page of all the tabloids in a few years, when it climbs atop a carpark and starts shooting strangers at random.



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