Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Some culture in the town centre

So anyway, me and Miss Thang were down the town centre at the weekend, and we went into this posh place called Cafe Neros. Miss Thang was wearing "full drag" (which means she was fully clothed in women's clothing - outrageous!!!) and all of these boring straight couples were staring and poiting and whispering about her behind her back. So she whirled round at them and gave them all a gobful of abuse "What the fuck're ya all looking at, ya fat cunts!" They didn't know what to say, so they just kind of sat there looking shocked. "Well fuck off then!" Miss Thang said again, and threw a biscotti at them (which is apparently an Italian biscuit (god I am like so cultured these days) - but I'd rather have a Jaffa cake anyday).

Later on Miss Thang told me that the worst insult you can call a woman is a fat cunt: "Because all women hate being called fat, they all secretly think they are and if you tell them they are to their faces in public it will instantly make them bulimic and they might actually DIE. So you must be very careful about using such a powerful word on them. Also the "c" word is the worst thing you can say to them. I know what I'm talking about Jamie, I have INSITE into women's brains because I'm a drag queen." I asked her what was the worst insult you could call a man and she said "Cocksucking fairy!" She's like so wise. But I must say, she's not very good at putting make-up on, she'd smeared lipstick all over her face - it was practically on her eyebrows.

I've had so many emails lately and proposals (hi to Matt who I shagged at the weekend - by the way, you need to shave it more down there...) Anyway, keep the addresses of other similar blogs to mine that I might like coming.


At 7:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good grief! Can we get more melodramatic!

At 4:32 PM, Blogger vickypollard said...

you are by far the best top model, human being in the world!


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